I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
