i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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