Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Only a mothe r could love this liver
are you so shy because you have an std?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
