This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize