girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize