last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
