after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
sex in a hospital.. check
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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