So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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