so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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