i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well most of my day revolves around power hour
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
