Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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