That's intense
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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