Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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