My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
