don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
