yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
