i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
