angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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