i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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