That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
