he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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