Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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