she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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