is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
