the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
