i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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