It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
