did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
