Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
