I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize