i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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