Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
