So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
