So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
