I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize