It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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