Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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