Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
