Say something about gay babies.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
