I need help removing her.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
