you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
