flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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