I CAN MOONWALK!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
