I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize