I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
