i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
