There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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