One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
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and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..