I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.