Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
