You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
