he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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