..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
