Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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