If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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