Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
