if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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