New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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