Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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