"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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