So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
