so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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